Can you picture this?

In my 'mind's eye' I can see this:

It's the perfect weather day: sunny and warm, and just the slightest breeze. 

I'm sitting at a large, round, umbrella covered table... and each of you are there. 

 There is a bouquet of pink & white peonies (a favorite) stationed in the middle.

 I would share with you my Stevia sweetened, mint infused water (fresh mint from my garden. I love to garden, and appreciate my herbs), with crushed ice, of course (another favorite). 

We're talking of family and life, and what we're interested in. 

 I know, I wouldn't notice the pound or two you've gained or lost/gained or lost. Or, If you were at your goal weight or not.  I would be too interested in what you were sharing, and who you really are.

 It makes me smile to imagine that.

Sisters, I've been thinking non-stop (strongly for two years, but for almost 35 years) of the number on the scale (my scale), and the food I should, could, would-or ought to have eaten (mostly, not eaten). 

It's a little crazy making--for me.

In our days of striving to care for ourselves we: shower, lotion up, do our hair/make-up, brush our teeth/floss, shave/wax, move our bodies, etc...you get the idea.

I never obsess about some of those self-care, health promoting tasks.

 But I do obsess about my weight and food I do or will eat.

Right now, that just doesn't feel right.

I have no desire to be bigger, or eat out of control.

 I do desire to feel good in my own skin. 

That includes, losing some weight.

What I really want, is to look at myself, the way I'd look at each of you sitting at that table.

I don't have any answers.

I am  questioning myself.

It's time for a mental shift.

I'll keep you posted.

Blessings to each of you, my round table buddies.