Change

You know the cliche:
 Change: "It's inevitable...like death and taxes"
But it's true.
I've felt a some sadness and confusion about our Rosalie.  It's been oddly unsettling  for me.  I understand where that comes from for me.
I liked Minichick's comment on acting (in)/(out). It fits my emotional eating profile. I learn so much from you all.

I've been asking myself a few questions.
Good questions.
Why am I blogging? 
What need is it filling for me? 
(support & friendship)


So in answer to my internal dialogue, I decided:
* To blog 1x week.
 I could use those few extra hours every week focusing on exercising, preparing healthier meals, etc....
 Good idea, right.
The weather is warming up, and I need to emerge from my cave.

Have a wonderful week all...see you next Monday.

I Found Some of IT

 Yesterday, I did wonder where IT was and where I'd put IT.
I had this experience last night (too many details to bore you with), but I was able to see my full backside fairly well in my large bathroom mirror.
 Yep, I think I found a little motivation there. Looking at my lumpy fanny, and generous waistline; I felt like I was looking at a body that wasn't mine...but it was (is).
That experience helped me NOT eat the bowl of ice cream that I was fantasizing about.
This morning I woke up an improved girl. What a relief to have a found a little of my better half.
I'll share a few goals:

1. Lose 40 lbs w/in the next (6) months. That's a little less than 8 lbs/mo or 2lb/wk. So do-able, right.
2. Exercise...no more waiting until I feel like it. Walking, Turbo Jam, ...whatever. I will get moving.
3. More green foods
4. I will eat in modified Fast Track style. Wheat products are the absolute death of my will power. I've proved that to myself a few times ;/

Six months from now will be the end of October.
 I want to tell the six.months.from. now. Jeri how proud I am of her. She did it, and will keep doing it for the rest of her life. She never wants to feel the way she did on April 27, 2012 again. She will want to remember how she feels right now on October 28, 2012 (her 35th wedding anniversary): Healthy, fit, energetic and full of life....enjoying life.
I'm putting that date on my calendar...right now.
It will be a memorable conversation.
...best wishes all.

Week-ending

The work week for me is ending. I've enjoyed warm weather, gardening, working, a little fun, and all that jazz...it's been a good week. Thanks for checking in with me, and offering friendship. Bless each of you.

Now for more truth:
. I've been so off with my food...too much sugar...too much--food.
. No good excuse. Maybe I'm just lazy?
. That's how I feel today. I just don't care that much...at this moment.
. I know no one can do this for me. But if I could... I'd ask Rosalie to do 'it'...she's determined and unwavering. Yep...I'd have Rosalie do this one for me :). She'd have this weight off within the next 6 months.
  
What do you do when you feel you've lost 'it'?

I know 'it's' here somewhere...I must have misplaced it?

I put it away while I was so busy these last few months, and thought I remember 'it' when I got back home and settled. I just can't remember where I put 'it'. I need to spend some time searching.

'It's' here somewhere...I just know it.

I hope you all have a great weekend. 

Company, working and a little more working

...that's what I've been up to.
And I'm grateful for both.
TODAY:
My daughter gifted me a make-up makeover...so I am doing that this afternoon. The esthetician I'll be seeing is good, so I'm hoping to learn some little trick. I feel that I rarely make makeup changes, and I've  basically have been doing the same thing for the last 25 years!
I can see my eyes getting older (and my hands/arms...I wish I would have used more sun protection on them...don't forget your neck and chest too!) , my eyes show everything...and that includes my age. I need to make some peace with the fact I'm getting older..not old...just older.
TODAY, I'm going to enjoy my daughter's company, be pampered a little, and use my Sephora gift card.
I've been a work.oriented.not.very.good.at.playing.kind.of.gal. So today is just about some fun and enjoyment. I'm up for that!

Company is coming!

My daughter,
 son in law,
 and two grand sons are coming
 for a weekend visit
...starting in a few hours.
So why am I still in bed?
Because I had to let you know-
May you all have a wonderful weekend.
P.S.
It's suppose to be 20+ degrees warmer than normal
I had to let you know that too...for all us winterized people...
Summer will be here before we know it!
Take Care

Lots of ways to change

There are many ways to measure change, and I'm holding on to that thought.  I got on the scale this morning...and no change there...yet.  So that means no lbs lost last week. (could have been the caramel corn on Sunday...the batch I made for someone else...but ate some myself?)

I'm choosing to look at the brighter side of all of this 'health recovery'  (don't you like that phrase) process I'm in.

 I AM drinking more water & eating more vegetables, and eating way, way less sugar.

 Those are things I'm doing.

 I think the most significant change is what's happening to my 'inner life'.

I feel more energetic, and hopeful. Now that's something to celebrate.

TIP for the DAY:  Don't let the scale determine if you are 'changing' or not.

May you have joy-

"When you wish someone joy, you wish them peace, love, prosperity, happiness...all good things.
-Maya Angelou-

I'm not posting about food, the scales or even a helpful recipe. I'm just thinking of you, and hope you'll en'joy' your day.

The week flew by...didn't it.

So happy week-ending to you all. Thank you for your support this week. It's amazing how steadying that is for me.
 I hope to report a few more lost (never to be found again) lbs by early next week. So my plan is to do those things that will help me do just that.
My week at a glance:
*Lost 3 lbs
*Ate way more vegetables
* Remembered to take my vitamins
*Exercise a few times
*Blogged
* Tried a few new recipes to help make eating healthy more interesting
* 7 days later I feel more energetic, more hopeful and a little lighter.
Take Care

A few of my favorite things-

Since my husband is traveling for work, I decided I didn't want to stay home alone (which I do a lot of).
So, I took myself to the movies and watched Titanic in 3D. I was in awe of Kate Winslet's beautiful skin. This time watching I felt even more sadness for the loss of life. I suppose my age is showing.
I'm FT'ing-my way. That means the occasional popcorn and few black beans. Jorge's FT book ok's some fruit. I do eat some berries too. As I've shared before, staying away from breads and most grains helps regulate my appetite. Many of us are enjoying the flax seed minute muffin recipe. It's such a great substitute for our 'bready' yearnings.
Some of my new favorites:
The almond flour/flax seed pancakes from Rosalie's blog. Fast and delicious.
Watkins Caramel flavored extract (I find mine at Wal Mart). I use it in my -almost daily-, **Ricotta pudding:  I buy the full fat Precious Ricotta (Per 1/4 C: 3 carbs/2sugars) The sugar/carb content varies among brands.
**Ricotta, 1 T choc chips, Stevia, flavorings...top w/ whipped cream and a sprinkle of chopped nuts.
Enjoy your day.

I'm getting closer-

I made myself get on the scales this morning, and I'm down 3 lbs from last week (just 7 more to go to be at my lowest this year).
What's been different??
A little daily exercise, no diet drinks, more water and vegetables, very, very low grains/legumes. I'm not counting, measuring, etc. this week. I'm just making an effort to lay off the foods I know don't help me!
Wah-lah! My body responds by giving off some of this excess weight!
I haven't been 'perfect' (I don't like that word...and it means something different to each of us). I've just made simple changes from meal to meal.
Some cooking inspiration came from:  www.kaylynskitchen.com.  I generally see recipes as a method and then tweek them to my liking. I really liked her Chimichurri recipe and others.
Take Care-

How was your weekend?

Ours was lovely and quiet...just what I needed.  Yesterday after church, we took a walk along a local river trail. The weather was warm and sunny, and for those of us living where it snows; those days feel like a time to celebrate.
Eating wise I'm doing much better. My appetite is still heightened, but I know that will change too.
Enjoy your day-

Is it really about food?

I've been thinking the last few days about impulse eating...which I know a little about :/
For me, grains and sugary foods fuel my seemingly out of control eating. That sensation, where a switch got  turned on, and if I just eat enough; I could turn it off.
There is an emotional component to my overeating...maybe even to my 'controlled' eating patterns as well?
Yesterday, I did a little physical exercise and made some good food choices. That's a great start.
The food is one part of my picture, and I'm searching out  how to take care of my emotional life.
I keep finding myself cycling up/down, up/down with my weight.  I'm now heavier than I was 5 months ago.
I'm not making any excuses for myself. I do  want to understand how I keep coming back to the same place.
Thanks for your support and insightful comments.
Take care-

One day at a time

Thanks for your kind comments yesterday...I'm borrowing the title from Diana's.
I made it through one day (yesterday). I did/ate those things I know are helpful. I plan to build on that today as well.
It's not so fun to fight the old urges to overeat & crave sugary/carby foods. I know those cravings will ease up...I have a faint memory of that truth!
Take care all-

A new day-

It's been enjoyable this morning to try to get caught up on your blogs. I've been MIA for awhile. I shared on Dawn's blog this morning that I'm dragging myself out of my carb cave today. And I mean dragging. I'm tired and bloated...and up 10 lbs from my lowest weight.  Teary...yes.   Disappointed...yes.  Hopeful...I'm trying.
I know what to do...yes.
Take care all-